"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
