What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
