There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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