matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
