Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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