god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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