google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
