Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
