I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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