i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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