youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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