I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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