So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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