i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
