It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
God I need to hump something, right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
