The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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