How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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