I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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