That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
