I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
