Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
