We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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