If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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