He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Everything about him screamed your future.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it glows. i had to have it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
