So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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