I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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