girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
