I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
