4 words: hood of his car
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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