why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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