scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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