I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
