Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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Come see our sink grown plant.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
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Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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