This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
