If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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