You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
