I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
