you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
