Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
