i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
