Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
