Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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