Heybabeimwearingurpanties
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
