Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
