bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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