ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
