Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My bed smells like the plague
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
