right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize