We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't turn off my feet"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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