that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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