Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
