Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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