best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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