WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
