haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
