Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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