Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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