Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
