It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
