how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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