So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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