You work out of a Hotel?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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