naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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