Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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